# Hip surgery ### The best and worst thing that has happened to me #### This is a series of events that has sent me rock bottom but also showed me that i am the luckiest person on earth. *September 19th 2023* I underwent an arthroscopic hip surgery to fix a chronic running injury from my femoral acetabular impingement (FAI) on august 18th. Leading up to that surgery was almost 2 years of hip/SI joint pain with a lot of frustration, sadness, and confusion. Running has been and still is my favorite sport. It is more than just a sport to me, it's a lifestyle, a way to friendship and out of stress. Since we moved to Canmore almost 9 months ago, we have been going hard non stop - hectic would be an understatement. Everything was new and scary: new neighborhood, new faces, new workplace, new climate. On top of that, we had overbooked our summer with different trips and committments. Since April, I have not been home for longer than 1 month at a time, most of the time only 2 weeks before I had to travel somewhere else. To add oil to the fire, Dom suffered back to back climbing injuries that has created setbacks in a lot of our plans. I was pushing myself and my injury way too much as well. By april, I had to stop running all together because of the amount of pain and discomfort that I was in. Going from an avid long distance runner, to barely able to hike 10km without pain, was extremely hard on my mental health. I had tried everything to heal from injuries by now: taking a break from running, physio, dry needling, massage, heat/ice therapy, acupuncture, osteo, literally everything under the sun, but nothing seems to solve the problem. Ultimately, I decided to go for surgery, knowing that the current studies have only limited evidence. But i was at a crossroad mentally. I feel too discouraged to keep trying conservative measures. The surgery is the answer I needed - if it works, great. if it doesn't, then at least I know that i have no other option but to keep pushing with the conservative treatment. The timing of the surgery cannot possibly be worse. There was a last minute cancellation so while I was still in Europe, I had 2 weeks to frantically try to rearrange all my plans. Dom was still on crutches and would be for at least another 2-3 weeks, which means we would be both on crutches post-op. We had a race planned in Squamish after Europe and I also have work committment that I need to get out. Despite of all of this, I chose to do the surgery. I cancelled the race, made arrangements with work so that I would have 10 full days off after the surgery and a light week upon returning. My mom insisted on coming for my first week post-op, which turned out to be beyond helpful. I don't know how we would have survived that first week where I can barely get out of bed on my own and Dom can't carry any object in his hands because they are both occupied by the crutches. The days and weeks that followed the surgery is a whirlwind of emotions. There were numerous times during that first week where I am hit by waves of gratitude: even though I can barely move, I have neighbors, friends, and family who care so much about me that they all came and did their best to help. I felt like the luckiest person on the planet, showered with nothing but love towards life and these people. These thoughts often brought me in tears, tears of gratitude. I felt like I was on cloud 9 even though I can't even squat down on the toilet. But there were also days where I was in deep emotional pain: sad to be missing out on summer, and on all the sport activities my friends are doing. I felt lonely in my recovery and isolated. I felt hopeless sometimes about the future, unsure if this was even worth it, unsure if i can ever run pain free again. The negative thoughts can be so overwhelming that it seeped into my daily life with Dom. We were both home on crutches, healing together but also getting caught in each other's mental spaces, which were mostly negative during that period of time. As I am writing this entry, I am still healing from the surgery, as is Dom. I am positive that this event is a blessing despite (or maybe because of) the rockbottom it brought to our lives. It made me appreciate the ability to do mundane things like walking, going up the stairs, or putting on your own shoes. It will make our relationship stronger as we ride out the waves. Appreciate every day. Tell your loves one you love them. Things that seem to come so easily and naturally can be gone without warning.